Sonnet for an English Villain
I should be playing King Richard or Macbeth,
But Hollywood might help to pay the bills,
And so I travel to the Promised Land
To play the bad guy that Bruce Willis kills.
My trailer's not so big, but I don't mind;
My German accent's prone to fluctuate;
I can't help flinching when I fire a gun—
But that paycheque's irresistible bait.
For that, it would be churlish to complain
"The dialogue's not worthy of The Bard".
I asked what motivates my character;
They smiled and told me I was trying too hard.
Film's fun, but theatre has no equal.
At least I won't be back for the sequel.